Insecurity

So what prompted me for this first post? Appendicitis.

Damn appendix had to go and get all swollen and angry seven days ago and soooo I've been out of commission since then-- and probably for another five days or so. LUCKILY I am healing very quickly. I've been up and about and the only thing I can't do until I have my follow up appointment is drive or go to school. Bummer.

So, back to normal with-an-appendix-life, I'm generally emotional and insecure. I'm also pretty needy and I love attention from the boo. Needless to say, this past week has been pretty taxing for me, just sitting on my couch, trying my hardest to steal any free time of J.'s and watching Netflix sitcoms. The only problem is, J. still has an appendix- and a ton of school work to do before break starts. Aaannnddd it's been hard to accept that he still only has an hour or so of free time while I have all day. The few minutes I do get to talk to him (and the precious five hours he spent at my place two days ago) have been desperate and whiny and super mushy and probably way too much for him to handle. Which is why I've been getting really insecure.

I tried to talk to him last night, and I was getting very lovey. I had just heard in church about a recent widow who will have to spend her first holiday without her husband, and it made me think of how lucky I was to be in a loving relationship. So, I wasn't just randomly dropping buckets of love on J.... but still, I was probably overwhelming him. It didn't help that he was trying to read a chapter in a textbook that I know is due today. So while I attempted to hold a heartfelt conversation, and he attempted to hold up his grades, we realized it wasn't working and he went to go work without a chat-box distraction.

I know that, especially in this instance, it's very silly of me to pine and whine about such a trivial "lack" of attention, but it highlights a problem I've encountered several times before... When am I just being over-emotional and petty, and how do I recognise and get past this??

What have you done to get past fickle feelings of loneliness and petty moments of "neglect"? I found that I was trying to reassure myself that "it's not that he doesn't want to talk to you, it's just that he's busy", and that helped because i knew it was true. But obviously it still stings, just a little, or I wouldn't be writing a post about it. How do you know when to let work be work and not let it interfere with your personal relationship?

Hopefully this feeling will go away when we get some quality time together over Thanksgiving holiday :)

See you when I see you.
A

((The morning after mini-note:

I talked to J. last night and he said if he was distant it was because of stress and a pornpem I didnt even know about! More about that subject tomorrow!))