Rings

J. and I have matching rings. We got them 3 months into our relationship when we realized we wanted to try and spend the rest of our lives together. Before you jump on us for being naive, let me explain a bit.

Like I've mentioned before, I've been with two other guys before J. and neither of them worked out too well. Luckily I also maintained good friendly relationships with these guys after leaving them, and I'm not "terribly scarred" or "heartbroken", but I have definitely learned a lot from them, too. I learned that no matter how much you say you want to spend forever with someone, it's never going to happen unless 1) you actually mean it and truly enjoy spending time with your partner and 2) they feel the same way. Well, suffice it to say that I didn't exactly find that perfect combination in either of my previous relationships.

So, when I started dating J., I was still relatively young, and told myself that it was naive and stupid and pointless to "plan a forever" with someone, and that if I did this with J., I would be setting myself up for failure. So, for the first two months of our relationship, I was closed up about how I really felt about him: I told him I wasn't serious about our relationship, and I wasn't too outwardly romantic. Well finally, one night, that all changed.

He told me that I made him the happiest he'd ever been, and I realized that I felt the same exact way. All of my walls broke down and we agreed: if we make each other so ridiculously happy, why would we ever end our relationship?

So, we came to a few conclusions... 1) That we like where we are in life, being with each other, and that we won't let something small and pointless break our bonds. 2) That we know shit happens and that a promise to love each other doesn't always mean that the universe won't intervene. 3) That for however long we ARE together, we will treat each other with the utmost love and respect and that this time together will be "Our Forever".

The concept of Our Forever quickly turned into "infinity" for shorthand, especially the use of the infinity symbol, and we got rings with infinities stamped on them. These rings aren't promises that forever will be easy, or handed to us, or immediately guaranteed... Instead, they are more like a way to honor our relationship and our love for each other, however long it may last: hopefully, for the actual forever.  :)

Did you ever have a "promise ring" with someone? Did it make you feel trapped or safe? Did you ever break up with someone you had rings with (like I did in relationship #2)?? Let me know!!

See you when I see you.
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