Talking

I'm one of those people that talks about my partner a LOT (as if you didn't already get that). Not only do I talk about J. a lot, but I also talk to him a lot. In fact, a little more than a lot. Kind of closer to ALL. THE. TIME. We are basically on skype chat or video calls every second we have wi-fi access and if we're not home, we text occasionally to check in on each other. Basically, we talk every free second we can spare...

Now, I know that I'm definitely not alone in this-- tons of couples talk 24/7, and even friends text or IM all the time. It's normal in today's day and age, and it's easy to justify. "Why wouldn't I talk to the person I care about if I can?" "What is the harm in talking to my friends and loved ones as much as I can?" And sometimes it's also easy to counter these arguments... "If you're talking to somebody over electronic devices all the time, you may miss what and who is around you in person." "You never have any personal space." "It's not healthy to talk to someone that much." Well.

Is it healthy to talk to someone practically 24/7? Or maybe not just one person, but to be communicating with others all the time through electronics?

It's hard to find an answer for this. Like I said earlier, there are several solid arguments on both sides. What I think-- and have come to stand by-- is that people should make their own decisions about how often they communicate electronically with others. Who is anyone to tell another person what is and isn't emotionally malevolent for him or her, if he or she is happy and healthy and safe? I'm certainly not going to impose my personal beliefs on anyone that simply wants to converse or spend time with someone they care about.

That goes for J., too: I would never force him to talk to me more than he was comfortable with, and I know he wouldn't do that either. I like that we are so close that we can discuss how much attention we need from one another without feeling demanding and without getting hurt. This kind of communication is especially important in relationships, where people are more easily damaged when, for instance, a text is ignored, or a video call dismissed. As long as feelings remain clear on the non-electronic communication lines, these muddy areas are easy to avoid.

What do you think? Is there a limit to how much you should talk to your partner in general? Or do you think it is a personal decision that everybody should make for themselves? Have you ever felt left out ((or in contrast, smothered)) by a partner because of their decisions when it came to communication, whether it was electronic or personal? Let me know!

See you when I see you.
A